“My mother told me that failure is not the opposite of success; it is a stepping stone to success.” ~ Arianna Huffington

“Success is the ability to go from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” ~ Winston Churchill

I know that failure is a natural [...]]]> By Laurie Clarke, COO, The Tatham Group

“My mother told me that failure is not the opposite of success; it is a stepping stone to success.” ~ Arianna Huffington

“Success is the ability to go from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” ~ Winston Churchill

I know that failure is a natural part of achieving significant results.  But it can be frustrating, annoying and sometimes outright maddening.  Especially when I knew the answer only to find out over and over again that I was wrong.  These quotes help me reframe the situation and keep moving.  Some days I am more ‘successful’ than others.  Would love to hear what you do to keep motivated, especially through the failure that experimenting to root cause can bring.

I stepped onto the late evening flight exhausted and frustrated after a day of delays and shuffling.  I know that I will miss the last connecting flight back to Toronto and have to stay overnight.  Every business traveller has been there, myself more times than I care [...]]]> By Laurie Clarke, COO, The Tatham Group

I stepped onto the late evening flight exhausted and frustrated after a day of delays and shuffling.  I know that I will miss the last connecting flight back to Toronto and have to stay overnight.  Every business traveller has been there, myself more times than I care to count.  I wanted nothing more than to curl up in my chair, listen to music and zone out.  My seatmate had a different idea.

“Hi, I’m Jeff.  I’ve just sold everything I own except what’s in this backpack.  An odd thing for a forty something, divorced father of two to do, huh?”

“I suppose it depends on why you did it,” I say, my curiosity piqued.

“Well, I looked around and realized that I was successful by the usual standards.  I was married, have two great kids, the big house, good money and yet I felt something was missing.  I wasn’t sure how I had gotten where I was.  What was the point?  We had six TV’s, multiple entertainment devices and shoes that cost more than some people’s houses in some places in the world.  Yet we didn’t seem to care about that, or talk to each other or really do anything.  I decided that I was going to change my family.  My family didn’t think they needed to change.”

“So here I am, setting off on my own spiritual walkabout for the next six months.  I’ve got a ticket to South America and a job in Boston waiting for me.  I know where my journey begins and ends but we’ll see where life takes me, who I become and most importantly why.  My kids are going to spend two weeks with me.  One on the beach and then one seeing how the world outside of their suburb looks.  Is that crazy?”

My initial reaction: What an unusual way to combat a mid-life crisis!  I had heard of sports cars, motorcycles and skydiving before but nothing like this.  I thought for a moment.  “Crazy?  Maybe.  I think it’s courageous to take time for discovery.  Sometimes you need to get out of your environment and just be open to learning to come back to what you already know.  You are like a modern day Santiago in the Alchemist. Except you’re searching for your personal legend instead of the treasure.”

As we departed the plane I wished him luck on his travels and headed off to get my flight arranged for the next day.  I couldn’t stop thinking about Jeff and his journey.  I realized that I have met so many people in the same situation as Jeff but they were struggling with the point of their work versus their life.

Most companies have a good understanding of where they are starting and a reasonable picture of where they want to end up.  Like Santiago, they set out on a quest for treasure – greater revenues, new markets, higher margins, etc. – without a lot of value placed on the journey of discovery.  Armed with a roadmap, they select shortest route on the GPS and start to follow.  When they reach their destination they find it is often accompanied with poor employee engagement and a difficulty sustaining the benefits.  Similar to the reaction of Jeff’s family to the change he expected.  A problem the Alchemist sums up when he tells Santiago, “Those who don’t understand their personal legends will fail to comprehend its teachings.”

The leaders I have had the privilege of working with follow a different path.  Don’t get me wrong the end goal is to get the treasure.  But they believe that the journey to the treasure has as much value, maybe even more value, for the long-term success of the organization.  They arm their people with a compass in lieu of a detailed map and are often amazed at the sights seen along the way.  It’s what develops and brings people along their own discovery of purpose and contribution.  They feel the failures and successes that come with learning so they can truly understand and believe in where they end up.  Sometimes it’s a place no one expected – somewhere far better than imagined.

Feeling refreshed the next morning I was ready to accept all of the challenges air travel had to throw at me.  Instead everything went smoothly and my flight was on time with an expected early arrival.  As I said good morning to my seatmate my mind was ready to learn another valuable lesson.  One that has changed the way I view my work.  Was this vibrant woman sitting next to me by accident?  Was it serendipity?  Written in the stars?  I’ll tell you that story next time.

This morning began as every other morning with one exception.  My daughter decided that she did not want to go to preschool today.  ”You will have fun!” Shakes head emphatically no.  ”Today is ballet class…you don’t want to miss that do you?”  We’ve moved to ignoring now. [...]]]> By Laurie Clarke, COO, The Tatham Group

This morning began as every other morning with one exception.  My daughter decided that she did not want to go to preschool today.  ”You will have fun!” Shakes head emphatically no.  ”Today is ballet class…you don’t want to miss that do you?”  We’ve moved to ignoring now.  ”Don’t you want to play with your friends?  They would miss you if you weren’t there today.”  Slowly removes her clothing in protest. Sigh.

We have reached the point where one of two things can happen: I can continue this way or change my approach.  The outcome will be the same  - she will spend the day at school.  However the various paths to get there look drastically different and can alter all of our moods for the day.  Do I resort to an incentive in the form of candy? Or do I threaten to take away a favourite toy?  Should I explain to her that I’m in a hurry and she really does need to cooperate?

Then as if by divine intervention, these words of wisdom from Marilyn Ferguson show up in my inbox.  ”No one can persuade another to change. Each of us guards a gate of change that can only be opened from the inside.  We cannot open the gate of another, either by argument or by emotional appeal.”  And the lightbulb goes off.  Or more accurately the 2×4 hits me in the forehead.  I know this.  I teach this.  And yet in a moment of time-pressured stress I faltered.  I slipped into the easier path for me which turns into the hardest path for everyone.

So I decided to place incentives and threats to the side and try something different.  I asked my adorably stubborn and naked three year old why she didn’t want to go to school today.  With some open dialogue and a little, okay a LOT of patience on both our parts, we got to the root cause of her anti-school position.  Are you ready for it?  Her dance clothes make her itchy.

All of my pleading, bargaining and reasoning was not going to address that problem.  And the solution was simple, quick and effective.  Finding the root cause is a powerful thing and definitely worth the effort to discover.  It is the path less travelled because it is difficult especially when looking for the cause of human behaviour.  But that root cause is the key to a person opening their gate of change and our understanding of it creates a safe environment for them to do so.

We were both smiling and happy as we moved one step closer to the front door.  Smooth sailing right up until the time we needed to put snow pants on.  This time I was quick with the questions and discovered that “Ballerinas don’t wear snow pants!”  Who knew?